Me name is Fisher the Dog. Me Border Collie 11 winters old.
Many say “Fisher you cynical.” Not true. All dogs live in moment. Happy go lucky people by nature. But me admit that me had rough life when puppy. Memory fuzzy. Story kind of sad. But it get better.
Me never knew me mom. Birth mommy lived on farm. Farmer say she chase cows. So when when she have Fisher and litter-mates, farmer take us and leave us in field to die. He bad monkey person. He think we maybe chase cows, too. Stupid farmer. Have he no heard of fundamental right of not blaming sin of parent on child?
That first month we lose some litter-mates. Sad.
But it not all bad. We have each other. We learn to eat mice and rats. Which are delicious, by the way. You should try.
Then we all rescued by good monkey people. They take us to kennel. We get blanket. We get ball. And we get kibble. Kibble is poop. And one at a time other humans come and adopt us. Until all but me and brother Lucky is left. It sad when you pack get small.
Then new pack come for me. Nice human people. Me new mommy. And this guy. He my editor. He okay. I guess. But not like mommy who is perfect. She make me brain crazy happy.
Now. Me have job in monkey person office as “relationship” consultant. Me here to set you straight on all things dog. Important to avoid things like what bad farmer did me first pack.
Think me like Dan Savage of dogs. With less humping talk. And more bitchy snark.
Me have many dog friends I invite here. This where monkey person transcribe me insights so other monkey people can read. Me think this be beneficial. Me entourage you to talk.
See? Happy ending. Best stories all start sad. Give you some place to go.